TESTAMENT guitarist Alex Skolnick has issued the following blog, titled Harley Girl:

"A bandmate introduced me to her on tour last year. He described her as a friend that really wanted to meet me-a gorgeous girl with a pretty face, nice body, and a bit 'off her rocker.'

For some reason, I tend to attract these types-outgoing, hard drinking, cursing, sometimes overbearing girls from outside mainstream society. I don’t know what it is- they’re clearly not my type yet I get put in in the position of having to shake them off (granted, some would argue this is a great problem to have). There have been porn actresses, dominatrixes and now this girl, who counterbalances her glamour magazine looks by covering her arms with tattoos and cruising the streets of her Midwestern metropolis on a black Harley Davidson.

I’ve never gotten the motorcycle thing. I respect people who ride, like the way bikes look and enjoy movies like ‘Easy Rider’ and books like Hells Angels by Hunter S. Thompson. But the desire to ride has never been there. For one thing, playing heavy metal has provided me with enough rebelliousness to last several lifetimes; I don’t need any more outlets. For another, I feel life is dangerous enough as it is without the added risk of going 70 miles an hour on the freeway with minimal protection from the concrete or worse, an oncoming truck.

So I can’t help but wonder- why are these pretty young souls caught up in the tougher, grimier sides of life drawn to me? Is it because they’ve only viewed me through the filtered lens of heavy metal, failing to see the book reading, gourmet coffee sipping jazz aficionado behind the power riffs and screaming leads? Or do they look to me as some kind of savior, someone to pull them out of the dark corners of society and shine a light on new paths of knowledge and cultural awareness? I suspect its the former.

'She’s kind of got a thing for you, so be warned.' He wasn’t kidding.

As she spoke, I got the feeling nothing meant more to her than her bike and that if she could just find a guy like me, her holy trinity would be complete. She asked to show me her bike parked out in front of the venue. As I admired the bike, she begged to take my picture on it. Then she told me her fantasies involving herself, the motorcycle and me: first, there was the two of us zooming down a rural highway with no destination in mind on a star filled night. Then, there were rides to the great lakes where we’d park the bike, take our clothes off and swim naked. Then there were scenarios in dark alleys that sounded like reenactments of WHITESNAKE’s 'Here I Go Again' video, with me as David Coverdale, her as Tawny Kittaen and the car played by her motorcycle.

I was flattered of course, but had to gently let her know that she’d picked the wrong guy. I told her she’s a very beautiful girl, perfect for a very different type of dude. She wouldn’t take no for an answer I told her there is perhaps no one less ‘biker’ than me. She begged to differ and said I just needed to look within myself and think about it-it could be me, her and the bike against the world. Finally l told her she’d have better luck getting Woody Allen to ride her Harley than me.

She still sends messages once in a while and comes to shows in hopes that I’ve changed my mind. I continue to tell her that I’m sorry, I’m just not ‘that guy.’ For the life of me, I can’t figure out why I’ve been chosen for this girl’s motorcycle fantasies. Does she actually believe that somewhere inside my soul is a long repressed ‘inner biker’ who’s been waiting to come out? That suddenly, like Clark Kent changing into Superman, I’ll sprout an instant beard to my chest, my arms will cover in tattoo sleeves, my stomach will balloon into a beer gut and my body will suddenly be covered in leather chaps, an army helmet and goggles?

Or has her plan all along been to just throw me on the back of her bike and make me her bitch?"

Testament is currently on tour as part of the American Carnage trek with SLAYER and MEGADETH. For a complete list of dates, click here.