In Metal Grasshopper episode 2, metal icon Philip H. Anselmo schools young grasshopper Dave Hill on headbanging, heavy metal vocals, and the most extreme of all breakfast cereals. Oh, and Hill takes a phone message for Anselmo from King Diamond.

What began on October 14th and basically threatening to melt your goddamn computer every Tuesday through November 11th comes Metal Grasshopper, a new web series in which comedian Dave Hill travels to the wilds of Louisiana to get schooled in the ways of heavy metal by legendary frontman Philip H. Anselmo (Down, Pantera, Superjoint Ritual, Philip H. Anselmo And The Illegals).

Metal Grasshopper pairs the unlikely duo of metal master Philip H. Anselmo with comedian, dandy, and NPR darling Dave Hill. Dave begs Phil to mold him into "the baddest metal motherfucker of all time". Phil begrudgingly relents and the abuse and absurdity reach epic levels.

If you like stuff with corpse paint, burning pentagrams, medieval weaponry, irritable goats rented by the hour, couples counseling, delicious smoothie recipes, and real live chickens, you will love Metal Grasshopper, because it has all that stuff and then a bunch of other awesome stuff on top of that too. Holy shit.

 

 

Conceived by Hill, Anselmo, and writer/director Chris Lee during a torchlit ceremony in the goddamn woods while it was seriously late at night, Metal Grasshopper begins with Hill showing up unannounced at Anselmo's secret compound somewhere in the sticks outside of New Orleans to learn directly from the master. Anselmo isn't exactly crazy about the idea at first, but after Hill eventually proves he's not messing around, Anselmo reluctantly agrees to take Hill under his heavily tattooed wing, share his unholy wisdom, and let Dave crash in one of the upstairs guest rooms.

Over the course of the series' five episodes, Anselmo educates Hill on everything from headbanging to crowd work to even the most extreme of all breakfast cereals and man, that shit is nuts. Will Hill survive and come out the other end even more metal than before? Or will Anselmo scare Hill straight back to his parents' basement in Cleveland? Guess there's only one way to find out, goddammit. The journey began with the premiere of episode 1, "Origins":