Who needs Jesus Christ when you have Michael Starr? The STEEL PANTHER vocalist volunteered to take the place of the Son of God in the updated version of Leonardo da Vinci’s The Last Supper, which adorns the cover of the band’s third album, All You Can Eat. “Yeah dude, Leonardo DiCaprio made a great painting – and we figured we could make it better,” says Starr. “We’re a different kind of religion; we’re the religion of Anything Goes. Everyone’s included – all you have to believe is heavy metal is your way to salvation. If you buy our new record, when you go to Heaven, and (late AC/DC vocalist) Bon Scott is there to greet you, he’s going to let you in cause he knows you bought the Steel Panther record.”

“All You Can Eat is not for the weak stomach; it’s for people who have fucking balls dude,” continues Starr. “And the good news is our next record is going to be a real serious record.” That statement can’t be taken seriously. “I know, but everyone keeps wondering, when is Steel Panther going to put a serious record out? They just don’t understand that what we’re doing is being serious. This is real for us. It’s who we are.” Unfortunately Billboard categorizes Steel Panther as comedy, when in actuality they’re heavy metal. “Well I’ll tell you what man; we’re the first heavy metal band ever to have three #1 comedy records on Billboard. You think METALLICA’s going to get a fucking #1 comedy record? I don’t think so!”

Prior to the release of All You Can Eat, Steel Panther were all over the Internet with a series of webisodes, namely: This Week In Music, Science Panther, Demolicious, Love On The Rocks, and Steel Style. Michael Starr, along with guitarist Satchel, bassist Lexxi Foxx, and drummer Stix Zadinia provided a free public service that was simultaneously educating and enlightening; helping people live better lives. “Yeah, and we’re also introducing ourselves to people who maybe don’t have a chance to come to our shows when we’re coming through their town. Or people who are really struggling with what to wear to a Steel Panther show, or making their demos - they don’t know if it’s good? You can Tweet it to us and we’ll fucking review it on our show. A lot of people have fear of rejection man. That’s something Steel Panther doesn’t have. There’s a lot of people that love us, but there’s just as many people that absolutely fucking hate us. But that’s a positive thing cause you don’t want middle of the road fans, people that say, ‘Ah, I kind of like Steel Panther.’ I’d rather have people throwing shit, or throwing their vagina at me.”

The first two videos from All You Can Eat: ‘Party Like Tomorrow Is The End Of The World’ and ‘The Burden Of Being Wonderful’ are really enjoyable, but the video for ‘Glory Hole’ sets an entirely new standard of awesome! “Thanks dude, it’s pretty amazing. You know what’s cool is we got it out just in time for Easter.” Based upon the resounding success that is the ‘Glory Hole’ video, one can only imagine what Steel Panther could do in a video for ‘Gangbang At The Old Folks Home’. “It’s funny you say that man, because that’s one we’re trying to get the label to put some money towards. My Mom just moved into an old folks home, so I’ve got an in at a great place to shoot the video. We could dress up a bunch of our groupie fans that are actually young as old people and just fuck them; it’d be really fun.”

Finding time to record All You Can Eat was no easy task as Steel Panther tours a hell of a lot. The band started out bouncing between residencies in Los Angeles and Las Vegas – then the rest of the world woke up and realized. Suddenly Steel Panther was playing Canada, Europe, The UK, Japan, and Australia. “Well you know we did a lot of recording on our tour bus. We brought out a Pro-Tools rig and a mic. We recorded all the basic tracks while we were off tour, and then we finished up a lot of the vocals on the road. It was really fun man cause we set up the mic in the sleeping area where all the bunks are, and just to baffle the sound even more, we got a lot of (bass player) Lexxi’s chicks that he fucks – the fat ones – and put them in the bunks to soak up the sounds; it worked great. We’re a fucking working band. We really pride ourselves on our musicianship and craft, our songwriting; we’re not lazy. We love to… I wouldn’t even consider it work because it’s heavy metal, it’s just fun. We like to fucking jam and hang out; we do that stuff all the time. So doing a record on the road was actually really fun man. We’re doing Steel Panther six, seven days a week – all the time. Never stopping dude; the only break we get is when we fuck. A little fuck break.”

‘Ten Strikes You’re Out’ isn’t the way it works in baseball. “Right, but that’s Canadian baseball. In all seriousness, if you give a chick only three strikes, she’s going to be out immediately cause chicks are annoying sometimes; it’s the same for guys and girls. You’ve got to give them ten strikes to get their shit together, and if it doesn’t work out, at least you know you really tried. There’s some girls that I’ve been with… there was a lot of shit that annoyed me about them, but they’re so fucking hot it doesn’t matter. But after ten super-annoying things, you got to let go man. Like they say in (Disney’s) Frozen, let it go.”

‘If I Was The King’ contains the line, “I’d kill KATY PERRY.” But would you bone her first? “Absolutely dude! I’d get on those titties so quick. Katy Perry is perfect for a song, ‘You’re Beautiful When You Don’t Sing’ – that’s who we should have done the song for is Katy Perry. The song’s called ‘You’re Beautiful When You Don’t Talk’, but if we sing it about Katy Perry it would be ‘You’re Beautiful When You Don’t Sing’.” Another standout lyric comes in the form of, “Megan Fox would be my Queen.” An excellent choice. “Yeah! Who else has toe fingers that you want to suck? Nobody! Megan Fox is the only girl I know – have you seen her fingers? Her thumbs – look it up online and you’ll see what I’m talking about. It’s pretty interesting.” Thanks must be given as Michael Starr would also execute ONE DIRECTION.

“You’re welcome man. But I got to give it up for One Direction, they know what’s up. I don’t know if you’ve seen them lately, but they dressed up heavy metal. I think that is a precursor for them to actually play some music that’s palatable; something you want to listen to. Maybe they’ll redo some MÖTLEY CRÜE or something.” Understandably, Steel Panther couldn’t include the entire list of death row inmates in that song, but who else would be marked for execution? “Well we already sang about JUSTIN BIEBER on our last record, Balls Out. But honestly dude, that guy is no reflection of your great country. Every country’s got one. We’ve got 50 CENT and fucking KANYE WEST. But definitely, I would have added Justin Bieber for sure, and probably IMAGINE DRAGONS.”

‘She’s On The Rag’ is the final song on All You Can Eat, and what a way to end an album! Every girl gets her period once a month, but that must be grounds for getting kicked off the Steel Panther tour bus immediately. “You know what, it’s funny you bring that up because it isn’t. It’s not a problem for me personally. Some girls get really freaked out about it, and they feel like it’s not cool. We sing about it cause it’s happened to everybody and it’s happened to us. When I was in The UK I met this chick and she said, I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. The good news is I really want to fuck you. The bad news is I’m on my period. I said girl, that’s good good news. What are you talking about? Let’s fucking do this. I don’t have to worry about finding The Morning After Pill, nothing. When you’re on tour, sometimes the food isn’t that good and I was very low on my iron. So I’m all good now!” Just because one hole is closed, two others are still open. “A lot of guys forget that man. Nowadays because of Internet porn, girls are doing a lot of things they wouldn’t do back in the ‘80s. Like deep-throating is now very, very common with the young girls, anal is very common. Girls know what ‘Bukkake Tears’ are because of the Internet. And it’s a good thing. People should be able to express themselves sexually in any way they want.”

‘Party Like Tomorrow Is The End Of The World’ encourages listeners to “Find some horny cougars and shoot some cougar porn.” Yet that isn’t Michael’s favourite type of porn. “No, but it’s fun to shoot because older women tend to squirt. They don’t have so much control over their prostate and urinary tract from blowing out kids, so it can be really fun. Some younger girls, they get really nervous if they don’t get wet. Older women, they carry KY with them, so you squirt it on and fucking go to town.” But squirters can make a sticky mess which is fine in a hotel room, however at home in your bedroom it may be a different story. “When you do a show, you get dehydrated, so that kind of fluid intake can be very helpful. You have to use every angle you can on the road, because resources can be limited when you’re on a tour bus. Sometimes you run out of water, so you just get a cougar squirter and you feed the band.”

Sex is obviously a huge source of inspiration for Steel Panther’s lyrics. Thinking back, Michael offers up his best - and worst - sexual experiences ever. “Probably the worst sexual experience I had, turned out actually to be a good experience, so it’s a combination answer. I was with this chick that I met; actually it was in St. Petersburg, Russia on this last tour. She was totally fucking hot – blonde hair, bright blue eyes – and we’re fucking, it’s killer, and I realize she has a dick. At that point, I was so bummed because it was like, oh my god, I’m gay. But then I realized that I should just go with it, and it was really a great sexual experience for me. That’s one of the things that All You Can Eat is about. It’s about being able to do whatever you want. Everything is available to us. And there’s no shame or guilt – if you want to listen to One Direction on your off time, that’s cool. But if you want to fucking rock, you listen to Steel Panther!”

Focusing on the live show, is there anything different this time around that seasoned Steel Panther fans haven’t seen before? “Well, we’re bringing a truck, we’re loading it up with fucking tons of shit – video screens, confetti, and fire. Whatever fits in that venue, we’re going to shove it in there and bring on the rock. Cause last time, we just brought our amps, guitars, and drum set. We’re bringing everything; we got a fucking brand new banner that Lexxi’s Mom painted, it looks really cool. We’re going to be doing a lot of new songs off the new record, and of course we’re going to spit out some classics. And then we’re also going to do some shit we’ve never done before off the last two records. So if you’ve seen us before, you won’t be disappointed. And if you’ve never seen us before, you’re going to be so fucking glad you spent the money on a ticket.”

If fans purchase the VIP concert upgrade package, Michael explains exactly what that entitles them to. “You get a gift bag full of cool goodies and shit. Then you stand in line, we come in, then you get ushered in. We get to meet you, say hi to you; if you’re a girl we love to sign vaginas and boobs. We’ll sign up to three items for you, whatever it is; hopefully a body part cause that’s cool. We do a quick photo shoot. It’s a great experience cause the camaraderie between all the people in line; it’s a party dude. Everyone gets access to the merch booth first; you get a killer VIP backstage pass that nobody else gets. And you get direct access to the band which is pretty cool, cause sometimes you can’t see all the girls in the audience. So, some of the girls who get VIP packages are able to get the real backstage pass to the dressing room; it’s good for us and it’s good for them.”