PILEDRIVER Mainman EXALTED PILEDRIVER Pulls Plug On All Band Activities

May 13, 2009, 15 years ago

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Lead vokillist Gord The Exalted Piledriver Kirchin has abruptly announced that the he has put all activities of the EXALTED PILEDRIVER band on hiatus while he deals with "numerous insurmountable obstacles and negativities that prevent me from moving forward at this time", adding "it's only wise that I pull the plug until this metal machine works properly again and no-one else gets hurt".

The Leather-bound And Pointy Exalted Piledriver explains, "major health problems have been hampering live performances for over a year, and that's one of the numerous reasons for this season of 'down-time' for me right now. I need to have a few things fixed or adjusted, and I'll be back in the health saddle in a few months". Band-members guitarist Mark 'Kinky Pork Cream' Kopernicky and bassist Rob 'Lobo El Fsnort' Tollefson kindly forced the hiatus move by tendering their resignations on May 9th, 2009 via e-mail "because we love you". Kopernicky is presently working on an album with former bandmates Nasty Black and a solo album, and Tollefson is fond of drinking. It is not known at this time that they will be returning to the band line-up after the hiatus.

The Exalted One continues describing the need for hiatus, stating "there are other equally momentum-crushing reasons that are less life-threatening, but just as serious to the viability of this band that need to be stopped and addressed". In reference to reported problems of hundreds of fans that have filed complaints with PayPal and various Postal and Business organizations due to non-delivery of their pre-paid Northern Storm Records copies of the recently not-so-well released but very well reviewed Metal Manifesto album, Pile bristles, retorting "THAT's the NSR slap in the face! Diehard fans have been turned into hatemail-writing, bootleg-torrenting frenemies to me!! This debacle with Northern Storm Records has done us and the fans way more harm than good! I feel it's only conscionable that I drop anchor before the crimson tide of ill-will due to NSR's dropping of the Piledriver ball claims the last 12 bodies of my fanbase! I've never had so much hate-mail in my life due to the clumsy and outright inept lack of business acumen or even common sense of someone acting as my representative. Things definitely have to change on my distro front if I am able to continue at all". The Metal Manifesto album is still available through digital downloaders such as iTunes and others, as well as in bootlegged torrents posted by irate fans.

Another huge negativity preventing forward movement at this time for Ol'Piley is apparently the global economic downturn that has rendered this summer's UnSuck The Continent Tour Of Europe "a depressing financial bloodbath", and thus it is sadly cancelled. "We had huge un-bookable holes in the schedule that essentially made the tour financially impossible for us at this time, and it is with great sadness that we must announce its cancellation". Pile whines, "This really hurts us deeply on many fronts, and besides all the other cool gigs, my appearance at Headbanger's Open Air was something that I had lived my metal life to do, and now it's gone... this is killin' me!".

In foretelling of what to expect during and after this much needed hiatus, leather-lunged Kirchin tells us to keep our eyes and ears pealed on the band's Myspace Page and www.sofa-q.com pages for an unreleased cover song recorded during the Metal Manifesto sessions to be posted within the next month or so, "to keep ya's rockin' while I'm away". He informed us that he will also be posting all the recorded yet unreleased PilePodcasts on the same sites shortly thereafter. Pile says "2009 started out on a depressing, downward slide, but, I am bound and determined to come out the back end of this year strong and on top, with a proper business infrastructure, a stronger live presentation, and another killer album... mark my words!"

Pile additionally let it be known "if any record label 'professionals' would like to speak with me about distro... drop me a line, I'm very open to negotiations right now! The fans hunger and they're not being served!" Then... he was gone. Geez... we hope he comes back soon!

The band's earlier recordings - Metal Inquisition (1985) and Stay Ugly (1986) - are considered cult heavy metal albums, and have together have globally sold nearly 500,000 copies to date. The band's live shows in Canada, USA, Germany, Italy, and Greece over the past 5 years have been 'the stuff of legend', and are evidenced in numerous Youtube clips.


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