BEHEMOTH Frontman Nergal On The Road To Recovery - "Life Is All About Stopping For A While And Reflecting On Your Past, Present And Future"

May 8, 2011, 13 years ago

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BEHEMOTH frontman Adam "Nergal" Darski recently spoke with Ultimate-Guitar.com about his battle with leukaemia and the road to recovery. An excerpt is available below.

Q: As soon as you were diagnosed with leukaemia, were you immediately informed that you needed a bone marrow transplant?

Nergal: "No, no, no. Actually, no. At first I was treated with a dose of steroids, and basically after one week there was a good effect on my body - all my goosebumps were pretty much gone. Doctors said 'We're doing this steroid treatment just to make you prepared for the first chemo treatment.' They weren't a hundred percent sure that I would need a bone marrow transplant because at first they wanted to see how my body would react to the first chemo treatment. They said that if there was a good reaction and after let's say the first or second treatment I was fine - that there were no cancer cells in my bone marrow - then I wouldn't need it. After the second chemo treatment, they said that the sickness is regressing but basically that I'll most likely need a bone marrow transplant. When I went to the hospital, we didn't wait for a diagnosis. We didn't wait for them to tell us either I need one or not, but just started searching for one. I got in touch with BKMS, which is the biggest organisation that collects bone marrow in Poland. The German section is the core section of this foundation, but there's a Polish section here too. They've been collecting for years in Poland, and they have the biggest experience. My then girlfriend got in touch with them, and they started searching immediately. To be honest, we found one after three to four weeks. Actually, we found like three people that were a pretty good match for me so within a month, we were a hundred percent sure that I would be fine in the worst case scenario. The worst case scenario was that I would need a bone marrow donor."

Q: Are you the same person you were before you discovered you had leukaemia? Or was it a life-changing experience?

Nergal: "It was a life-changing experience - ask anyone who's gone through any kind of cancer. It's a life-threatening sickness. Basically, you're balancing on the edge of life and death. My friend just died two weeks ago, a friend of mine that I met in the hospital. He had been there two months prior to the first time I came to the hospital, and we became buddies. He just died two weeks ago, so you just realise how fragile real-life is and how easily it can be taken away from you. You definitely appreciate things more afterwards. If you just come out alive, you feel like 'Wow.' I'm appreciating pretty much every next day; I definitely do notice that I'm breathing, I do notice that I can walk, that I can smile and I can talk to people and I can meet up with friends. Life goes so fast these days; life is all about just running to places, and when we run we forget that life is all about, which is stopping for awhile and reflecting on your past, present and future. Just lead this life, and not just run - that's what I do these days. I just wake up and I take my time, man. I don't run anymore, I don't rush myself. I'm just happy for the fact I'm on this planet."

Q: Were you overwhelmed by the response from the metal community to your illness?

Nergal: "I was, totally. I was shocked by how massive it was. I mean, the ball is still rolling and that is amazing. It started something; people started to realise what leukaemia is, and how dangerous it is. The statistics are merciless; with each year, there's more and more people getting sick from leukaemia. Pretty much anyone can get leukaemia, and I'm a perfect example. In a straight line - I'm talking about my parents and my grandparents - there were no cancer cases, so where the fuck this came from I don't know. The doctors don't know either. I just know it can happen to fucking anyone. It made metal people and the metal community realise first of all that they might lose another musician that they at least respect - some like our music. They thought 'Wow, we've gotta do something.' It was very humanistic, very sympathetic. They understood the situation and pushed for help, and the struggle for help was priceless. To be honest, I just can't wait to get back on the road. I bet I'll be out there in the crowd, in the audience every night, after the show just to talk to people about it and just to thank them in person. Shake their hands and say 'Thank you so much for staying with me in such a harsh situation.' I'm very thankful, that's for sure."

Go to this location for the complete interview.


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