Late SLIPKNOT Bassist Paul Gray - "Meeting My Wife And Meeting The Band Were The Most Special Things In My Life, Ever"

May 29, 2010, 14 years ago

By David Perri

slipknot feature

Paul Dedrick Gray, a co-founder of SLIPKNOT was found dead at a hotel near the group's home town of Des Moines, Iowa, on Monday (May 24th). The bassist was 38. A spokesman for the nearby Urbandale Police Department said there was no evidence of foul play, but the investigation is ongoing. An autopsy, including toxicology tests, is scheduled to be done today.

BraveWords.com Senior Writer David Perri has offered up the following thoughts on Paul Gray's death:

I can't claim to have known Paul Gray in any significant way.

The paths of our lives converged for a very brief period, a mere half-hour on July 14, 2008 as Slipknot was promoting its latest record, All Hope Is Gone. Paul and I didn't even meet in person, but even just over the telephone line one thing was so clear from the get-go: Paul Gray was a genuine guy.

Gray could have been an asshole. He was, after all, part of a Grammy Award winning band that has sold millions of records world-wide and toured with the most known and beloved groups on the planet. But Gray was no asshole. He was an affable, genuine, down-to-earth guy whose near-constant use of the word "dude" made me smile throughout our entire 30 minutes.

Gray wasn't just being nice for nice's sake. Our interview cut out several times as a result of Gray's new iPhone going through the glitches that usually greet the introduction of new technology. But each time his phone disconnected, he'd call me right back and apologize profusely that our conversation had been cut short. After more than a decade in the music journalism game, I can tell you without a doubt how rare an occurrence that really is. Gray, through that gesture of calling back several times on a July day almost two years ago, proved that he cared.

Gray was a bonafide rock star - one of the founding members of Slipknot - but on the phone he was an unpretentious, warm guy passionately talking music to me, a stranger. After our interview, I hoped to meet Gray in person one day to tell him how cool he was. I wanted to tell him that I had interviewed individuals with out-of-control egos and equally out-of-control attitudes who had achieved far, far less than Gray had. Gray's friendly and kind disposition were an exception and a rarity in this crazy business we call music.

On July 14, 2008, Gray's interview with BW&BK; ended in the following way, as excerpted from #112 (Slipknot cover). It's sad to think that such a jovial guy is now gone.

Photo by P.R. Brown

The excerpt:

“Oh dude, of course,” Gray exclaims, when asked if there’s nostalgia surrounding the '99 effort. “I’ve been in bands since I was a young teenager and with that ‘99 record, I just think of all the shit you go through before you sign a record deal. Everything else we had done before that was self-produced and self-done and we had to sell them ourselves, they weren’t in stores. We had to go talk the local music store into selling our CD. Everywhere we went when we’d play shows, we go into the town and talk to the local stores about selling our CD. Big chains like Best Buy weren’t taking anything from a local musician or an unsigned band, so going through all that work and then finally getting to the point where you get noticed, actually sign a deal and know that your record is going to be coming out on a mass scale… that’s awesome. And then everything that goes along with that, like touring all around the world and meeting all the people we’ve met over the years is amazing. On that record cycle, going to Japan, Australia, Europe, Canada and South America and finding out people actually were into the band outside of our home fuckin’ town was an amazing fuckin’ feeling. It’s hard to describe. It’s definitely in a place in my heart that will live with me forever. We thought we knew what was going on, and then we found out that it was a whole different thing (laughs). We just got out in front of people and made fans and made friends everywhere, and it was awesome. That record, and those songs, they were an amazing feeling. That was a special time for everybody in this band. Also, getting to quit my fuckin’ concrete job and my job bartending to actually be a musician was amazing. I used to have to pay to do music, because I’d have to take time off of work and lose my rent money and then have to talk my landlord into not kicking me out so I could actually go play a couple of shows. And then to be able to pay for a place by playing music? It was just amazing. That whole era will always be one of the most special times in my life. There’s only a couple of other things that are that special. I recently got married, so meeting my wife and meeting the band were the most special things in my life, ever. They are by the far the most special things in my life. That time around the ‘99 album and just recently with my wife definitely takes the cake.”

(Top-left photo courtesy of Scott Uchida)


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