Report: KISS - Deal With Satan Still Paying Dividends

November 14, 2009, 15 years ago

news rock hard kiss

Mike Usinger at Vancouver's Straight.com has filed the following report:

KISS' Deal With Satan Still Paying Dividends

Despite steadfast denials from the band, rumours have persisted for decades that KISS is actually a secret acronym for something. And no, Klowns Inarguably Sucking Shit isn’t one of them, even though that’s a pretty good guess, considering the greasepainted tycoons from New York have basically done just that for the bulk of their career.

The two most popular theories are that KISS stands for either Knights in Satan’s Service or Keep It Simple Stupid. A smarter-than-average person would wager the band’s lucrative merchandising rights on the latter. After all, the group’s two mainstays, Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley, have indeed kept things at a level of intelligence carefully designed not to confuse the average cretin—which is to say, everyone who ever willingly enlisted in the KISS Army. There’s nothing wrong with that. The hilarious reality is that there will always be those among us whose main ambition in life is to give’r like Terry and Dean from FUBAR. And really, is there any finer anthem for shotgunning that first Kokanee tallboy than KISS’s 1975 lowest-common-denominator breakthrough, “Rock and Roll All Nite”?

As for Knights in Satan’s Service, well, it’s there that someone might actually be onto something.

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