THE HAUNTED frontman Peter Dolving has issued the following message:

"I crack myself up, predictable son of a bitch... Heading into week two of tour and I start obsessing over sex.

I'm a big boy. I should know better. At least I think I should. So there's the everlasting duality of being, well, me...

I know on tour I am way less socially functional than normally, since everything is so centered on the music and the performance every night. And I still live with the impression that is how it has to be, how else could I get up on stage and give all I have?

Q: Is that a sane thing to do?

A: I doubt it...

But then again, it's the life I choose, and I love what it does for me if just manage not falling into self destruct mode. Basically what I need on tour is pretty much what I need at home. Sleep, food, play and intimacy, which is not the same thing as sex, though it sure feels like it might be some times.

Problem is intimacy is a two-way thing, and I empty myself so much during the shows that I'm just numb during most the waking hours. And that itself makes contact with my family and my friends at home well, weird. You know reality doesn't stop just cause I'm living in a bubble...

It's difficult being two places at the same time, and probably one of the biggest challenges any touring person has to deal with. Because you somehow have to learn to just try your best to simply be. It raises a lot of existencial questions. And honestly, am I there for my family when I'm on tour? No I am not. Should beat myself up over it? No I don't think so.

My goal is not shutting myself off emotionally, which is something that tends to happen as the days go by. Think about it. We sleep in beds about 6 ft 5" long, 3 ft wide and with a headspace of 2 1/2 ft. A roomy casket. That's all the personal space you have. Mostly clubs are cold, less than cozy enviroments, so unless it's a GREAT club, bands tend to hang on the bus. Physically you drain yourself completely for the 1 or 1 1/2 hours you're on stage. Afterwards I tend to just sit or lay down, the mind is just burnt, shower if I'm lucky.

You don't meet people per se, you expose yourself to them. A monkey in a cage, or a circus sideshow.

All those things are actually just fine by me. I love seeing those smiles and screaming my guts out with a shitload of people dancing and headbanging but it's like continuously emptying a cup. One has to refill.

So how?

I don't have the answer, after 15 years on the road with this and other bands, I still have no idea.

Drugs don't do, the consequences are too harsh and trying to get laid just fucks with everything else and I end up hating myself. Maybe meditation can do part of it, and I'm thinking acupuncture and massage.

Sounds so metal don't it... Yeah I'm sure it'll piss someone off.

Anyway I need some god damned closeness, something opposite of what goes on during the attempts for spontaneous self combustion-routine that the shows are...

So folks, got any ideas?

Peace, Pete

PS. Reverend Salty, having you drool on my back counts for something else than whatever this hippy shit blog is really about, though I'm the stubble could be kinda cuddly..."